All you ever wanted to know about......

Drugs. There's so much misinformation, scaremongering and downright bullshit out there about the things we choose to put into our bodies, I thought it was about time to tell it like it is. Whatever you think, or think you think, about drugs, read this.

1. Heroin. The big one. The one which features in all our worst nightmares, and not without reason. It is extremely addictive and thus can seriously fuck your life up. Best not to go near it, really. Of course, if you've ever taken codeine, or any derivative of it, you have taken heroin. Heroin is synthesised from opium, which is a naturally occuring substance derived from the opium poppy. In a medical context, opium is called morphine or, in a milder form, codeine. So, we've all taken it, in one form or another. However, as a recreational drug, heroin, or smack as it is more often called, is not a good idea. I only ever took it once, a very long time ago, and it was lovely. That's the problem. I remember feeling soft and warm, cocooned in cotton wool. Sheer heaven. Anything that feels that good is a bad idea, because pretty soon, NOT feeling like that starts to feel pretty bad and very soon after that, taking it again doesn't make you feel good, it just stops you feeling bad, so in order to regaiin that first high, you have to take even more, and then that's not enough, so you take more, and on and on it goes, until it's taken all your money, your health, your friends, your self-respect, your life. So just don't even go there, OK?
2. Cocaine. Nothing like smack, yet so similar. If you take smack, you'll just lie down and mumble incoherently, whereas with coke, you'll be chatty, gregarious and feel that you can do anything. Smack has a sleazy, grungy reputation, coke is sparkly and shiny, the darling of the media crowd. Coke is fashionable and cool. Things go better with Coke. Oh, how true that is. And, as with heroin, coke has it's place in the medical pharmucopoeia - derived from the coca leaves chewed by South American Indians to help survive at high altitudes, it is used as an anaesthetic in dentistry, and was once the active ingredient in Coca-Cola. Now its recreational use is widespread, its cost is cheap, and when it's made into crack, it's even more addictive. Oh good. Trouble is with coke that it makes you feel great, but if you get too fond of it, it'll turn you into a gibbering, paranoid psychotic wreck. A very good reason not to get too friendly with it.
3. Amphetamines. Better known as speed. A close relative of caffeine, but.....faster. A bit down-market these days, but cheap, so used by nasty unscrupulous drug dealers ( yes, such people really exist) to make more expensive drugs go a little further.
4. Ecstasy. Definitely the most fun of the Class A drugs. Probably shouldn't even classified as such, given that it isn't addictive, and recent research has shown that it doesn't appear to do any long-term damage. Take an E, and you just feel lovely - everyone is your friend, all music is brilliant, and having sex is , well, ecstasy. Depressed old people should be given it on prescription. You have to make sure you drink plenty of water with it though, because dehydration could be a bit dangerous. Downsides? Well, not many really, other than feeling a bit grumpy a few days later. If you're only ever going to try one illegal drug, this would be it.

Right, this concludes my quick scan of Class A's - I'll talk about other things we take in my next post.