All our tomorrows

Have you noticed how everyone's been leaping on the green bandwagon lately? Every advertiser you can think of, from washing powder manufacturers to McDonalds, is enthusiastically trying to flog us their oh so greener than greenery. Now, this is obviously a load of bollocks on so many levels - firstly because the first law of advertising states that whatever they are trying to convince you of patently isn't true, otherwise why would they need to spends millions trying to make you believe that it is, and secondly, because despite what they say, saving the planet ain't anywhere near as high on their list of priorities as making a big fat profit. The third and most important point is the one that everyone from governments to Greenpeace to you and me, is desperately avoiding because it is so scarily unimaginable is this - IT'S TOO BLOODY LATE.




Let's go back a little way in history, shall we. In the beginning was the World, and there it was, quietly minding its own busines, evolving away, experimenting with dinosaurs and ice ages and stuff, until one day who should turn up but Man, who enthusiatically set about inventing stuff -loads of stuff - language, pornography, war - you name it, man just had to start messing around with it, all in the name of Progress, because Progress is a Good Thing.



Now this progress thing was all fine and dandy until some bright spark came up with the idea of taking all that black stuff which was laying around in Wales, and setting fire to it, cos it it made everything all nice and warm and toasty and lasted loads longer than trees. And then some other bright spark worked out how to turn it into electricity (don't ask me how, I ain't THAT bright) and that was when the trouble started - except no-one realised that at the time, because everyone was having such a good time with Progress, which was just getting better and better and then some other bright spark (there was a lot of 'em around in those days) noticed there was a lot of other black stuff sloshing around in Arabia which was even better than the Welsh stuff 'cos there was LOADS of it, and it made really good electricity and therefore there was just squillons of dollars to be made, mainly by Americans, who have always been very keen on Progress, especially if it helps to make a Profit.



Now, the interesting thing about the black stuff, wherever it comes from, is it had been sitting around under the surface for literally AGES waiting to be discovered, and once it was, we started using it up so enthusiastically that it never occured to us to stop and think about what we were gonna do if it ran out. Which it will do. Soon.. So that makes us look pretty stupid, doesn't it? Did it really never dawn on anybody that fossil fuels which the Earth takes millions of years to produce wouldn't last more than 300 years or so? And have we come up with a viable alternative? Have we fuck.



So what are we going to do now? We've used up all the nice black stuff, unleashed cataclysmic climate chaos by charging around with our huge great carbon footprints, sown the seeds of our own extinction as a species (which is something no other animal has ever achieved), and still haven't found a new planet to escape to. It's no good - even if everyone on Earth switched to low-energy light-bulbs TODAY it still wouldn't save us. Like I said at the beginning - IT'S TOO BLOODY LATE.